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Swish

by Dermot McGrath


SMOG means


Culture Vulture

by Dermot McGrath January 2020

Music

This piece is one of the most famous organ pieces of all time. It is called Toccata y Fugue. Who wrote it?

 

Geography

What is the longest river in the United States?

Arts

Where is the Louvre museum?

History

In which town did Jesus Christ spend his childhood?


Smile for a While


GOOD JOKE

A blonde woman gets pulled over by a police officer… The officer is also a blonde woman. She asks the driver for her license. The blonde woman rummages through her purse for a minute before getting frustrated.. What does it look like again, she asks.. The officer says, it’s rectangle and has your photograph on it. The blonde woman looks around some more and says, oh here it is. She pulls out a small mirror and shows it to the officer… The officer said, oh you can go, I didn’t realize you’re a police officer too.

CORNY JOKE

A family of mice were surprised by a big cat. Father Mouse jumped and and said, "Bow-wow!" The cat ran away. "What was that, Father?" asked Baby Mouse. "Well, son, that's why it's important to learn a second language.

Dermot McGrath ebooks



Oneliners

If I agreed with you we’d both be wrong

Anon.

The more you try to control things, the less you are truly free.


Foreign words & expressions


Id est

Id est comes from Latin and means:


Think Language

“I’ll be home a little late tonight, dear", John said to his wife. Which of the four answer options is absolutely certain?

If you don't agree with Tom Red's Language Logic, just send him a message to lpdermot@gmail.com and he will reply to you.


Grammar Under Hammer

When we want to be emphatic in English we can put DO in the Present Simple tense:

I do hope you come and see me, Peter said to Jane


Lpcomment

by Tom Red

THE ORIGINS OF ENGLISH

The history of English is divided into three periods:

600 a.d. - 1100 a.d. OLD ENGLISH (or Anglo-Saxon),

1300 a.d. - 1650 a.d. Middle English,

1700 a.d. - TODAY - Modern English.

The earliest period begins with the migration of certain Germanic tribes from the continent to Britain in the fifth century A.D.. However, no records of their language survive from before the seventh century. , and it continues until around the end of the eleventh century.

Then Latin, Old Norse (the language of the Viking invaders), and especially the Anglo-Norman French began to take over.

After the Norman Conquest in 1066, French began to have a very big impact on the words.

The period of Middle English extends roughly from the twelfth century through the fifteenth. 

The period of Modern English extends from the sixteenth century to our own day.

the direct influence of Latin and, to a lesser extent, Greek on the lexicon. Later, as English came into contact with other cultures around the world and distinctive dialects of English developed in the many areas which Britain had colonized, numerous other languages made small but interesting contributions to our word-stock.

MY MISSION STATEMENT

A LITTLE KNOWLEDGE IS A DANGEROUS THING, SO
LEARN MORE AND BE SAFE!

First and foremost, The Moonday Times is a magazine aimed at helping students practise their English. They say studying improves brain and mind. Great!
But for some, it’s like eating half-cooked broccoli every day because it’s good for your body. Ughhh! Not great!

Of course there are many factors at play.

Study is associated with school. We were forced to learn when we were small because, basically, the more knowledge we possessed, the better our chances were of getting a good job. Study was a necessity, it was never intended to be a pleasure.

But as we got older, the accumulation of knowledge became a choice, free from the constraints of exams. Almost all of us in the Western world have become self-learners to a greater or lesser extent and we gather all manner of facts and figures that interest us from sport to the night sky.
The 3 Rs (Reading – wRriting – aRithmetic) provided us with letters and numbers, the basic tools to explore the world far beyond our own personal experiences. They allowed us to assimilate facts and they spawned our fantasies. They engendered desires and inspired our dreams. We know about events that occurred hundreds and thousands of years ago and venture to speculate about things that might occur far in the future. But the present is a cornucopia of happenings some of which, if we are lucky, we can experience live at home or abroad. Even If we’re not so lucky to be in the exotic country of our dreams or in the stadium to watch the big match, smartphones and space-age watches keep us updated in real time. Yet, many of us are just as happy to relegate the reception of information to the tv screens and computers of our own living rooms.
My bi-monthly magazine, The Moonday Times is not primarily designed to teach you anything. I myself have to research, learn and double check many facts before I write each edition.
Rather, it is designed to test in a fun way all that knowledge you yourself have (or have not) accumulated of your own choosing during your life.

The MOONDAY TIMES brings you 8 main sections, viz.

Swish – this is a quick fact in English which may surprise foreign learners, e.g.
BRUNCH is a combnination of BReakfast and lUNCH
Oneliners – “I have nothing to declare except my genius,” said Oscar Wilde to custom offficials on entering the U.S
Smile For a While – you can read jokes in English. The idea is that they will make you smile but sometimes the jokes are so bad that you want to cry (we call these corny jokes)
Foreign Words and Expressions – In this section you will read the meaning of words like ad hoc and see it in a sample sentence
Grammar Under the Hammer – Check your Grammar level and grasp of Semantics – 5 levels - Beginner to Native Speaker
LPComment - Guest writer Tom Red talks about a topical subject or event. As distinct from newspapers which voice an opinion, LPComment is merely informative. ; it is not meant to be an editorial.
Culture Vulture – This is the main section and is divided into 4 categories, Music – Arts –History and Geography There are 4 levels - easy to very difficult.
THINK LANGUAGE is a special section I have invented so that you can test your ability to understand the logic of the English language by using your grammar skills and deducing the correct connotation of words and expressions.

Language is very similar to mathematics in the sense that grammar structures will combine with definitive word meanings to produce a given result, e.g.

Simple structure – easy concept:

I’ll arrive at the station at 8 o’clock.

Complex structure – difficult concept:

If I had had time, I would have gone to the supermarket.

However difficult this second sentence may prove for foreign students of English, even the most academically uneducated native speaker will express it correctly. Both structure and concept have been deeply ingrained in her language brain since childhood.

So come on, test your Language logic with Think Language!
Aaand, as ever…

MY PARTING SHOT
DON’T DO IT WELL?
WELL DON’T DO IT!